Five reasons why Adulting has been bad for you!

(If you are a person who has it sorted in life, this article is not about or for you.)

Statistically, the standard success rate is 10%, or is it 1%? (By the end of this article, it should not matter!) Does that mean the rest are failures?

When Indian children play cricket in their gullys, the one child who owns the bat gets to dictate the rules of the game and others have to abide. Seems a little unfair? But isn’t life unfair in general? What if I told you, it doesn’t have to be unfair to you? Not only do you own the bat, but you also own the wicket and the balls! :P.

You see, the mind is a weird place, but it also is a magical place.

Why play the game by others’ rules if you have the liberty to design your own game, decide your own rules, have your own definition of success, and also can redefine it at your own will?

So who is to decide whether you are a failure? By all means, only YOU! If it was that easy, why do most of us feel like failures?

Let’s face it, like most simple things, it is easier said than done.

Basically, the unsaid rules of this game that we are currently playing, they are brutal. They are imposed, but hardly said. They mold us all into an identical shape — the shape of idiots.

Ironically, abiding by these rules is called “adulting!”

Here are 5 reasons why adulting has been bad for you:

1. Fear of judgement has kicked in

We all know it is our greatest fear and getting over it will solve most of our problems. We are afraid of being ourselves (can you also see the ridiculousness of it? Say this out loud: “I am afraid of being myself”, can you hear how ridiculous you sound? Yes. Can you get rid of it? No.)

2. You have become judgemental

Admit it, we are all hypocrites. We do not want anyone to judge us, but are quick in forming our own little harmless opinions, aren’t we?

3. You are afraid of taking risks

Oh how we love our sweet, sweet comfort zone. How much ever we complain about our lives, deep down we don’t want to make an effort to change. Why you ask? Oh, we have umpteen excuses, don’t we? — What will people think about me? What if I try that and fail? What if things get worse than now? (After all good life is the worst enemy of a better life!) Also, who likes change?

4. You Overthink

Only you know how many nights you lie in your bed awake, thinking about hypothetical scenarios that may never happen. You overthink every decision and somehow still seem to be making all the wrong choices. Coupled with fear of judgement, this can really hinder your progress.

5. You take life seriously

You take life way more seriously than necessary. You worry about the future and your choices, you compare yourself with others and get disappointed (social media perfectly helps in rubbing salt on these wounds). You don’t know when, but you have completely forgotten living in the present and cherishing the small milestones. You know what make you happy are the little things but you are running behind other things. You have become too self-centered and have forgotten that you are a very small piece of this humongous universe, and those little seemingly wrong choices that you think you made, are inconsequential in the larger puzzle.

If you are someone who relates to some or all of the above mentioned points, you are not alone (the fact that I am writing this note to myself, means there are at least two of us) Also, now that you agree and acknowledge these issues you are facing, you have taken the first step towards finding a solution, because fortunately for us, there is one and you already are aware of it!

I have had the fortune of closely observing my nephew who is now five. He is a rather smart child (you’ll agree soon). There are many things I envy him for. Instead, I decided to learn from him. Here are the top 5 things I am trying to learn from him:

1. He makes the rules.

He decides which game he wants to play. He doesn’t let anyone dictate to him.

2. He doesn’t give up.

He doesn’t accept defeat. When he thinks he is losing, he redefines the rules such that he wins. Or he just plays another game.

3. The sky is not just pink, but also green at times.

He defies all boundaries of normalcy and is unapologetic about it to an extent where he makes you praise his paintings where the sky is green, grass is red, humans are more colorful than a rainbow, have as many hands, legs or fingers as he pleases, because WHY NOT?

4. He is easy to please.

A piece of candy, rains, seeing or talking to his parents/grandparents, a visit to the gardens, guests, painting, dancing, just anything can cheer him up instantly! He celebrates (and makes you a part of the celebration) small accomplishments/milestones (such as finishing daily homework!)

5. He knows what is important.

He has a small world which consists of his family and a few friends. All that matters to him is being close to them and being happy! He only has love to give to all. It’s almost as if he already knows what is important.

Note to self: In this world full of ridiculous and idiot adults, be a smart child.